Dear Blog (is that how I'm 'sposed to address this?),
Last couple days have been nice since Miss Mendy was humbled. It's been so nice to see her highness brought so low!! Got to tell you about my amazing adventure though!! You'll never believe this, but I think I may have discovered a new species of bug!!
Last night I saw this really really strange bug in Patti's bedroom. It was glowing red and zipped around like some kind of UFO. I've seen lots of bugs, but nothing like this!! What was it's intent? Was it going to harm anyone?? Like any normal cat, I snapped into alert mode and assumed my sacred duty of protecting my human... OK, that's a bit too dog-like, but I knew I HAD to get that bug!! It was my biological imperative!! The bug zipped and zoomed around the room, stopping sometimes to make funny jerky movements. I saw Patti busy waving a funny little metal cylinder around, but I didn't have time to think about that.... Focus, Kizzi!! You must catch the BUG!! There! It zipped across the ceiling, down the wall, across the carpet toward me and.... POUNCE!! Got it!! I know I did!! I was certain it was just under my paw and I didn't want to loose it. So, I ever so gently lifted up one toe, peeked underneath and doggone it (cat cursing again, sorry), the bug was GONE! NO WAY!! I am CAT!
I heard Patti laughing, but I was determined. I looked everywhere. I knew it had to be out there...somewhere... Wait!! I see it again. This time it's sitting on the mirror, but what was really weird is that it was suddenly joined by another bug just like it and they were flying in synch!! My Gosh!! Blue Angel Invisabugs!! Wow!! I waited till they flew down toward the floor and as soon as it did, POOF! Now it's buddy went invisible! This is nuts! Has to be some kind of insect uprising!!
The solitary glowbug crawled my way. I shuddered with excitement. Kitty adrenaline poured into my furry body.... POUNCE!!! At last!! I KNOW I got the darned thing THIS time! I heard Patti giggle again, but stayed intent on my task. Had to focus!! I was NOT gonna let it get away this time! Ever so slowly I lifted one of my toes so I could to grab the little sucker and just as I was ready to bite down on it's shiny little head, POOF! Gone again! WHAT?? How can this be! My honor is at stake!! I MUST catch it!
Suddenly it appeared to the left. I swung left. Then it streaked to the right. I jumped right. Then it started spinning around me like it was taunting me. That just made me madder!! OK bug, YOU'RE DEAD!! And I was hot on it's heels! I spun 'round and 'round and 'round, hot on it's tail till I was tipsy and sick. Then as quick as it started spinning, it stopped. I stopped and tried to beam in on it, but my eyes kept going round and round and round... weird. No time to think about that tho, back to the bug! This was my big opportunity!! It moved again. NOW it was ON my paw! This is IT!! POUNCE!!! I bit at it so loud Patti could hear my teeth snap shut, but once again...GONE!! I was furious!!
THIS IS WAR!!
Just then Patti set the funny metal thing on the nightstand and rolled over. At least now she stopped laughing at me... But ignore her! Back to the BUG! I seached...up, down, behind me, next to me, under the bed... Where was it? Finally I just figured my monstrous bite must have scared it off, so decided to chaulk it up as a victory for me. Ah, the sweet sense of utter control!! Now I can sleep. I proudly liked my paws and jumped up on the bed and curled up next to Patti and fell asleep dreaming I was catching glowing red ivisabugs...